It's now nearing 3:00am and I am sitting at my computer, the last piece of furniture left in my room. I'm headed for home in a few hours and am very anxious and excited to see old friends.
As excited as I am to go home, I am awake when I should be in bed because I'm not very good at good-byes. As Steve called them tonight, "transitions" are never a good time. I like small changes: re-arranged furniture, a new picture on the wall, an extra class, an exciting lecture, or new piece of music, but a don't like a total disruption of my life. It is hard to up and leave people whom I love dearly and see everyday that are part of my daily routine. I wish I could have both worlds all at once, but I suppose that's part of this earthly experience. Each day brings new joyful experiences that accompany sacrifice. Transitions make me ever more grateful for the present moments.
2 years ago
3 comments:
You know what, Mary, I know exactly how you feel. It was so hard to leave Bulgaria, especially knowing that there is a chance that I may never go back there. I had been affected by so many people and in so many ways, and I knew that I could never come back "home" and be the same person that I was before, nor could I go back "there" and be the person I was when I first went there.
It's tough to continually be saying goodbye. I can't imagine what it's like to be a member of the Church in one of those newly-developed areas for the Church. In Bulgaria, often the missionaries are the closest friends to the members. The only problem with that is that your average stay in a city is about four months. So every couple of months these people lose their best friends and have to make new ones.
Change is so tough, but I think it really helps us to grow in good ways.
Some People
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.
I hope I am this to the people I leave behind or leave me, I hope I can be that for some of the people in my life.
Hey Tony! I've never really thought about it from the members' perspective, only from the missionaries', but you are right. That must be very hard. The one aspect of the situation that is amazing, however, which I think is found lacking in America more than in other countries, is a willingness and openness to become best friends with people who you know are going to be leaving in a few short months. They don't shut themselves off from building relationships in order to protect themeselves from the pain of good-byes that will inevitably come. What a wealth of joy comes to those who fully give themselves to friendships now, despite the future pain. That reminds me of a quote by C.S. Lewis: "The pain then is part of the happiness now."
To Lindsey, you are definitely one of those people who leave a permanent mark on the lives of people whom you come in contact. The influence you have been for good in my life is deep and unfading. Thanks for being an AWESOME friend!
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